Long-Term Relationship Sex

Remember the honeymoon phase of your relationship? It was a time when the two of you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. You would find new and creative ways to express your love in a physical way. You had what felt like the energy of 10 men.

As the months and years go on in your relationship, something happens. Maybe it’s us getting a little bit older, but our sex life isn’t as hot as it once was. I don’t believe all the clichés about long-term relationships and your sex life are true, because each of us has a choice. 

We decide if we’ll let the fire fizzle. We decide to do whatever it takes to keep a healthy sex life and strong relationship. My wife and I have been married for 17 years, and our sex life now is even better than it was in the honeymoon phase. We’ve made the choice and used these five secrets to keep our sex life hot and getting hotter.

1. Never Get Complacent With The Frequency, Positions Or Quality

When you’re younger or just starting out in a relationship, you tend to be adventurous. The newness of the relationship -- especially the physical part -- piques your curiosity and you want to explore. You can have the same experience years later. When you find yourself settling for less than amazing, it’s time for a reality check. Decide then and there that you'll do whatever it takes to rekindle that fire. Never get complacent because that has the danger of becoming your new normal.

2. Became A Student Of All-Day Foreplay

Amazing sex starts long before you enter the bedroom. To arouse your partner, start as soon as you both wake up. It can be as simple as a kiss and telling them how beautiful they are, or it can be some physical foreplay in the morning. How you get along and how your treat your partner will affect their mood all day, and that will affect the quality of your sex. Throughout the day, send naughty textsor call your love and flirt with them. When you see them after work, kiss and touch them frequently.

3. Learn To Be Fully Present In The Moment

Life is busy and chaotic. We have responsibilities and a lot of things that distract us. Too often, we carry what’s on our mind into the bedroom—especially if you have been together for a while. To experience mind-blowing sex, you have to let go and give into the moment. You have to be fully present in your feelings and desires, and drown out what can be out off until tomorrow.

4. Commit To Being The Best Version Of Yourself

There is nothing sexier than a man who has confidence. A lack of confidence shows up in your sex life. You may not feel good about your body, and that could affect your performance. The best thing for your well-being and sex life is to do whatever it takes to be the best version of you. Make healthy food choices, exercise regularly, and do the inner work. Get in touch with who you are and what you want from your life. You’ll walk into the bedroom confident, and that will turn your partner on.

5. Relive The Honeymoon Phase Excitement Often

Just because the honeymoon phase is over, doesn’t mean you can’t relive it from time to time. Chances are, you have matured as a person, and so has your relationship. Add that maturity to the pure excitement you felt when you first found each other. Rent a hotel room for the night. Do something adventurous in the bedroom. Take time to do what you did back then.

Your sex life doesn’t have to be a victim of time and circumstances. You can keep it steamy by committing to putting in the time and effort. That’s not to say there won’t be a quickie now and then, but in general, focus on having a quality experience with the person you love.