Things That Are Ruining Your Sex Life
The honeymoon phase of the sexual part of your relationship is like fireworks on the 4th of July. You’re just discovering each other and exploring how you can bring each other pleasure as a way of showing how you feel.
Continuing those fireworks when the reality of being in a relationship hits has ended too many relationships. It may happen slowly without you even noticing, but what once was a strong and healthy sex life can turn into days and nights of frustration over your physical needs not being met.
I experienced this personally. My wife and I got married young (18-years old), and our sex life was hot. We couldn't keep our hands off of each, and found new and creative ways to express our love physically. Over time, the passion faded, and I had to get honest about why. There are things I—and many guys—did every day that kills a healthy sex life.
It could be a job you hate, a toxic person, or discontent with how you’re living life. The key is to get honest with yourself about what’s bothering you and how you’re treating your partner as a result. Those behaviors are affecting your sex life because they’re turning your partner off and causing tension in your relationship.
The best sex starts with more than the physical—it starts in our minds. If you have poor communication with your partner, you’ll never know what’s going on and how you can help. Communication is the bedrock of a healthy and passionate sex life.
If you are out of shape or overweight, it not only affects your energy—it affects your self-esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it will affect how you feel in the bedroom. The best thing you can do every day that helps your sex life is continuing to try and be the best version of yourself. Create healthy eating habits and make exercise a part of your daily routine.
If you want sex, you should drop little clues with your partner. Kiss them passionately as your prep dinner. Flirt with them throughout the day dropping dirty little teasers. Tell them you can’t stop thinking about the two of you giving each other pleasure. Don’t wait until you're both tired and ready for bed before you make it clear you’re horny.
Those thoughts and desires are in your mind, and that’s manifested physically in your life. You either picture that person while you’re having sex or it causes you not to want to have sex because you feel a little guilty. Remember, sex starts with what’s going on in our minds. Feed your mind with love and desire for the person you committed to being with.
You may not be the type of couple who has or wants sex every day—each relationship is different. But, the things you do every day will eventually affect you when you have sex. They will affect the quality of sex and possibly how long your relationship lasts.
Continuing those fireworks when the reality of being in a relationship hits has ended too many relationships. It may happen slowly without you even noticing, but what once was a strong and healthy sex life can turn into days and nights of frustration over your physical needs not being met.
I experienced this personally. My wife and I got married young (18-years old), and our sex life was hot. We couldn't keep our hands off of each, and found new and creative ways to express our love physically. Over time, the passion faded, and I had to get honest about why. There are things I—and many guys—did every day that kills a healthy sex life.
1. Acting Like A Jerk
The hard part about being a jerk is that you don’t realize you’re being one unless you are in tune with yourself. A lot of times, there are external circumstances that affect our mood and we vent in other ways. We may not even be aware that what we’re trying to keep to ourselves is coming out.It could be a job you hate, a toxic person, or discontent with how you’re living life. The key is to get honest with yourself about what’s bothering you and how you’re treating your partner as a result. Those behaviors are affecting your sex life because they’re turning your partner off and causing tension in your relationship.
2. Making Assumptions About Your Partner
It may not be you--it may be your partner that’s acting a certain way. Too often, instead of approaching the situation from a place of understanding, guys make assumptions. Making assumptions about why your partner is acting a certain way, or why they don’t seem to be interested in sex that day kills your sex life.The best sex starts with more than the physical—it starts in our minds. If you have poor communication with your partner, you’ll never know what’s going on and how you can help. Communication is the bedrock of a healthy and passionate sex life.
3. Making Choices That Affect Your Confidence And Energy
Your desire for sex is affected by how much energy you have and how you feel about yourself. You kill your sex drive with what you eat and how active you are. Your health is an important component in keeping your sex life hot beyond the honeymoon phase.If you are out of shape or overweight, it not only affects your energy—it affects your self-esteem. If you don’t feel good about yourself, it will affect how you feel in the bedroom. The best thing you can do every day that helps your sex life is continuing to try and be the best version of yourself. Create healthy eating habits and make exercise a part of your daily routine.
4. Waiting Until It's Too Late
Practically, you both need sleep. There is also an issue of timing, and this can be compounded if you have children. Sex isn’t one of those things that should be scheduled like another appointment, but you have to be practical.If you want sex, you should drop little clues with your partner. Kiss them passionately as your prep dinner. Flirt with them throughout the day dropping dirty little teasers. Tell them you can’t stop thinking about the two of you giving each other pleasure. Don’t wait until you're both tired and ready for bed before you make it clear you’re horny.
5. Pursuing Others
One of the best ways to kill your sex life is to think about, flirt with or pursue someone other than your partner. Doing so is easier today with the access we have to porn and other people online. It can start with looking and turn into a full-blown desire to sleep with someone else.Those thoughts and desires are in your mind, and that’s manifested physically in your life. You either picture that person while you’re having sex or it causes you not to want to have sex because you feel a little guilty. Remember, sex starts with what’s going on in our minds. Feed your mind with love and desire for the person you committed to being with.
You may not be the type of couple who has or wants sex every day—each relationship is different. But, the things you do every day will eventually affect you when you have sex. They will affect the quality of sex and possibly how long your relationship lasts.
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